I smell like I've worn rose perfume then cooked an oily curry. Hard pass.

Positives: it's very original. Negatives: it's absolutely vile. For me this falls into the same category as most MMM scents, namely cheap-smelling novelty claptrap. It smells like licorice, but in a repulsive way that brings out memories of cream rubbed into childhood wounds (or is it deep heat?) and doctor's waiting rooms. The most hilarious thing is that is deemed worthy of an even more extortionate price than most of the line.

A wondeful perfume, indeed a masterclass in haute perfumery. I'm baffled by those complaining about performance, I find it's a beast, albeit without being loud. There a warm waves of woody, resinous, sweet, vanillic benzoin to die for, and the best thing is it works in most weather conditions. I haven't tried it in hot weather and I imagine it wouldn't be ideal, but Autumn, Winter and Spring, it's perfect. Love!

There are some heavy hitting notes here (patchouli, vetiver) but they're delicately entwined with sparkling bergamot and hyper real florals creating an extraordinary, fresh bouquet. It's sweet, but only just enough to seem real, there's none of the sickliness you'd usually get with this type of scent. It does slightly remind me of the plethora of MFK freshies, but the musks in the base are distinctly FM.

Blimey, where to start. Yes it's skanky and dirty, sort of wrong, a sort of pudendal funk that arrests the senses, but it works. Nothing else compares to this. I'm not sure where I'd where it, but then when I've felt that way about other perfumes I've come to realise it doesn't matter. You just wear it when it feels time, and wear it with pride. Update: just discovered I'd smelt the 2016 batch, then I tried the recent formulation, and found it horrifying. It smells like wet farts, very very wrong indeed and I couldn't wait to wash it off.

I'd have called this Aldehydes Poudre, although that's not to say the iris isn't pronounced. The initial aldehydic blast is almost reminiscent of Oud Khol for me, although obviously only the aldehydes, sharing the almost savoury sharpness rather than being on the soapy side. Wondeful, addictive, powerful yet light... another yes from me for this wonderful house. I get the comparison to No 5, but this is more subtle, and once the dry down takes effect, the warmth of the amber really balances it out wonderfully. It's like a next level No 5 EDT.

I find Frédéric Malle perfumes (and in particular those by Ropion) can undo my prejudices towards certain notes. This beauty totally flipped my opinion of tuberose, which I normally find very troublesome, bubble-gummy, cloying and OTT. I also normally hate coconut in perfume, but this has shown me that if the quality is high enough, and the blending expert enough, I'm in! The coconut kulfi dry down is almost as good as the superstar opening. I was in the bakery this morning, and a bunch of people started saying "oh my god someone smells amazing", and I was half mortified, half thrilled when they locked it down to yours truly. Thanks Frédéric Malle! Update: It's too strong for any time of year except high summer (outside), when the heat mitigates the effusiveness, thus it's a glorious fanfare of creamy tropical florals, whereas indoors or in cold weather it's,cloying.

This is the shit! So delicious, just as when I was little and was tempted to taste fruity shower gels, I want to devour this perfume. However it's not a gourmand, but it is the tastiest, juiciest citrus I've come across, with the most stellar performance (I have 2016 batch). Possibly now my favourite Malle, although it's a tough call to make.

Something smells a bit skanky here. Not in a good way. Try as I might, I can't find anything to top the Guerlain, and not only is this a long way off, the price is crazy considering the proliferation of good vetivers out there. You can get caught up in the hype about the special extract of vetiver blahdy blah blah, but essentially it's bog-standard, and even a bit horrible to my nose.