Another Aventus clone, zzzzzz, what's the point? The opening is cloying and sweet; this perfume is hella strong. So yeah, a worse, happy-shopper Aventus with a sickly, cloying vanilla note. Whatever accord they're using to give pineapple turns cheesey after 20 mins. I have to scrub this off. Hate hate hate aaaaaagh

Let's be clear about this, the strongest note here is a soapy aldehyde very akin to Chanel No 5, but where the Chanel EDT is harsh, dated and difficult to wear, this is joyous and fresh. My initial reaction was EURGH aldehydes EURGH, but a couple of days later I kept thinking about it. The aldehydes don't mask the other notes, nor do they seem abrasive or metallic. They're giving me finely milled, expensive soap, which, on a crisp or warm sunny day, is a treat to experience. It's expert perfumery from the past which still holds up in 2024. By the way, performance here is insanity levels, I cannot accept this is an EDC. One tiny spray to a wrist, then dab other wrist and neck, that's enough for me. A few wears in and I'm completely in love with this, it's magical.

Awful, strong, nauseating, devoid of complexity, obnoxious, sour, and worst of all cheap-smelling. How this is so popular is beyond me. At first sniff I thought it was OK, but as soon as I had it on my skin and was forced to smell it for a few hours I found it intolerable. It's also completely linear and is indelible on clothes, so all in all it's a relentless, shouting, chest-beating, screeching baboon of a scent. Ghastly.

This perfume is crazy. If you thought Alien was a bizarre floral, this is Alien cubed, with bells on. Hypersweet, minty, nose-burning (get it?!) chemical tuberose. One spray (or blast) will singe the nasal hairs of everyone in a 2km radius. And hell, why not? I like it, although it's basically unwearable.

If Guerlain did a Shalimar Milèsime Green Tea flanker this is what it would smell like. The leather is light and Guerlainy and there's a vanilla undertone perhaps something to do with the benzoin and/or tonka. Lovely, but not different enough for me to purchase a bottle (which in any case isn't possible now apparently). Very safe, and after 20 mins or so it becomes clear that the quality of Shalimar is lacking here.

Very cheap-smelling, light, basic rose patchouli scent. There's nothing particularly offensive here but 100ml should cost 20 euros in my opinion. Completely forgettable.

Washing machine detritus mixed with faint cheesy food smells, and some very cheap-smelling rose and jasmine floating around somewhere. Alongside it all is a weird metallic smell, adding to the image I get of a decrepit washing machine with loads of built-up soap scum. This house has some interesting ideas, but I find 90% of their perfumes are just unpleasant to smell, or that they open well and turn evil after 10 minutes. Lots of people seem to love this one, but I just don't get it at all. There are so many weird peppery roses to choose from, this is a hard pass.

Opens with synthetic mint shower gel scent, mid dry down is Lemon Dulci by Chopard, then after an hour it smells like cat piss. It's a cheap-smelling mess. Update - in warmer weather it only takes 2 minutes for the stale cat piss smell to come through. It also smells of cat litter. So if warm, piss-infused cat litter is your thing, this will be right up your alley. This has to be one of the worst perfumes I've ever smelled. Normally I can see merit in something I wouldn't personally wear but this is just horrible, and I've smelled it on other people, it's not just my skin chemistry.

I've just received the JSP sample set and I'm blown away by these perfumes. As a whole, the quality and uniqueness immediately puts me in mind of Strangelove (not to mention the style of one or two of them). I'm in love, it's a coup de foudre. This one, on card, made me recoil a bit, as I was getting a sort of fishy skank, but it just goes to show how different a scent can be on skin, as now I'm wearing it, it's incredible. It's a sort of rooty, herby, aquatic narcissus, unlike anything I've ever smelt before. The celery seeds note is strong, and the perfume as a whole is very powerful, but it manages to retain a sheer elegance and natural allure that is making me smile and chuckle to myself. This is going to be a problem, as if they're all this good on the wear I'll have to get a second job....